Tuesday, December 11, 2012

What's in a name?

I ended up with my Draenai, after all.
So now that we have been formally introduced, I must ask: What, exactly, is a warlock? Is it someone who sacrifices others for his or her own goals? Rogues and Hunters can do that. Someone who taps into primal forces for the sake of becoming more powerful? Mages, Shamans, and Priests can do that. Someone who steals others' souls to make yummy, delicious cookies for himself and all his friends? Well... yes, this is exactly what warlockery is about: the unadulterated realization that you are the central focal point, not of the universe, but of everything that is important in the universe. It's an intrinsic factor of our existence.  We're not necessarily mean, but the sheer joy experienced when imbibing on the life force of another living  (or unliving) entity is overwhelming (my favorite are undead - they have an earthy, almost truffle-like flavor).

While the truth that you, as a 'lock, are the most important thing within the universe is obvious, some misguided people believe that this makes warlocks evilI disagree; not all forms of narcissism confidence are the same (ours is just the best). For example, while I do sometimes engage in preening, and occasionally have bouts of selfishness (see aforementioned cookies), I often help out the poor people who are trapped in over-pulls, being ganked by Horde, or need a ride over the next mountain range 

See how nice I am?
(Side note: As of MoP, if you try to ride off the edge of a precipice and lock-port back to safety while sending your riding companion to his or her splattering death, your companion will be ported with you. Sigh, I know - no more Gunship "suicides;" there is another option for having fun, though).

And every Saturday night, I even offer up the most valuable of safety nets - my phylactery - so that special raiders can be brought back from their idiotic mistakes untimely deaths.

All in all, my desires aren't as egocentric, maniacal, or murderous, as the common public seems to think. I believe that I'm a really nice guy who deserves everything in the universe; is that too much to ask?

- Summongods

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